Hopeless.

I fucked up yesterday. I did very well until I got back home from work (6pm). Nothing but gum, redbull zero, water and diet coke. Then my sister was going to her evening class and I decided to go with her so I can do my assignment in the library. She wanted to get high before so we went and got weed. Needless to say, I was to high to even do my assignment and we ended up getting fast food after her class. I had a feeling I should stay home or I will screw up and I went anyway. The thing is, when I'm with my sister I always fuck up because she eats like a horse but is still skinny. I made her promise before we left that she will not let me eat, and that she will not eat around me. I can't trust anybody. I have to be alone in order to control myslef. When I'm with somebody I feel like that's enough of an excuse to ruin everything.
Anyways, I was going to purge after we got back home but my sister went to take a bath so I couldn't use my usual bathroom. My niece was sleeping over so I was going to go downstairs as soon as she falls asleep but of course I fell asleep too. I've done this shit so many times, I should have learned by now. I woke up with the worst feeling in the morning, I'm still pissed and depressed. This guy texted me to hangout on saturday and I'm a whale. One thing I know for sure - I will not eat a thing until Saturday night/Sunday morning.
I'm so fat right now, I don't eben know when was the last time i weighted so much. I need to lose at least 4kgs to even feel okay when I go out in public. Right now I just want to be invisible.
Off to work.